MAMA MARZ | WHOA, I’M 20 WEEKS?!

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Some people look at Monday's as the worst day of the week. Trust me I used to be that person. Monday was the day I had to go back to work and start the countdown to Friday at 5pm all over again. 

These days Mondays are my most exciting days. It's like a fresh start for me. I can set new goals, focus on my brand, plan content and just enjoy the freedoms of working for myself. 

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More importantly it marks a milestone in my pregnancy because my baby turns a week older in gestation. Today I'm officially 20 weeks pregnant! I can't believe I'm half way through this pregnancy. It's actually pretty emotional for me. I can't believe in 20 more weeks I'll be looking at my precious baby in my arms. For now I'll have to settle with seeing it through a monitor. This week we'll be able to see our baby for the first time since I was just 9 weeks along. Then it was just a little bean and now it’s the size of a small cantaloupe! 

My cravings

I crave lots and lots of sugar and sweets. I actually like to have something sweet after every meal. Instead of ice cream (my current treat of choice) I try to eat fruit but I do give in a few times a week and eat the ice cream. This is the only time in my life that I will not be too concerned with how much weight I gain. I'm half way and have only gain about 15lbs. This is a bit over the average but according to my midwife I can gain up to 35lbs safely and still be healthy. I would like to stay under that but if I hit the mark so be it. As long as baby A is healthy I'll be okay with the weight.

THE GOOD

I would say so far my highs have been getting my energy back, thinking I feel the baby move, and the excitement of seeing the baby again. I'm used to being on the go whether I felt good or not but being pregnant has really slowed me down. I think it's for the best in some ways. I feel more focused than ever and I appreciate my time spent at home (not traveling) more than ever. 

I'm not sure if I'm actually feeling the baby move at night or it's just my imagination. This stage of your pregnancy I've heard is the most exciting so I'm not sure if my excitement is getting the best of me or not. Either way I'm really enjoying the process.

THE NOT SO GOOD

To be honest I've even been depressed at times. Depression during pregnancy is so common but it just isn't discussed. You're supposed to be elated right? You're having a child! You've created a life! Yes, but when these hormones begin to rage so many things race through your mind. I struggled with the fact I didn't look pregnant but I was feeling huge. To many I may not look "huge" but the way I felt was a different story. Your body literally isn't just yours anymore and its changing by the day. Clothes that fit last week don't this week. None of your undergarments fit. You don't recognize your own body. This can be a lot. Not feeling or looking like myself was such a struggle more me. I've learned that as soon as I feel the sadness coming on I do something to distract myself. Walking has really helped me to clear my head. Figure out what works for you! At times like this I know my grandma would tell me, "just write it down." So maybe writing will work for you as well. Just find something that will help you or talk to your midwife. You definitely don't have to feel alone and if you're feeling this way it's normal. It's okay to seek help! Maybe you have a friend that is pregnant too and she can listen and relate to what you're feeling. I know there is plenty of information online about depression but it isn't in the forefront. Just please know you do have options! :)

Girl or boy?

They say when you're having a girl they take "everything" from you. Needless to say, I'm guessing this little melon is a girl! I've had acne, the nausea, the weight gain everywhere but my bump, and my curls are no longer popping. My hair was the biggest shock. Women talk about how wonderful their hair is during pregnancy and mine looks more and more like a brillo pad.  My cravings for endless sugar also lean more towards the gender being a girl, at least according to the books and old wives tales. Having a girl would be amazing but it terrifies me to think of having a mini version of myself. Just think of how many bows, headwraps, and clothes this child will have! I'm doomed if it's a girl! 

 

Well whatever this little melon is I feel like I'm falling in love already. 140 days to go! 

 

Until Next Time!

xoxo,
MARZ